Mark and I like telling the story of when we applied for or marriage license.
We’d just finished with school and wanted to go overseas as missionaries. However, our agency required us to be married for an amount of time before sending us off. So we decided to pick a place and live there for the required time.
We’d always wanted to live out west so we chose Portland, OR. Our plans were to pack up our cars and drive across country after we returned from our honeymoon. We figured we’d find temp jobs and a furnished apartment once we got to Portland.
It sounded like a solid plan to us. Well, at least until we had to say it out loud…
We went to the courthouse to get our marriage license. The clerk who was assisting us asked us, “Where is your place of residence?”
“Uh…we don’t have one. We plan on getting a place in Portland after we marry.”
“Oh, okay.” Nervous laughter. “Well, who is the name of your employer?”
Feeling a little embarrassed now we look at each other, “Um…we’re not sure at the moment. We just finished school and will get something once we’re out there.”
She laughed again and made small talk about the freedom of being young as she typed up our form. She then handed it over to us and asked us to proof it before signing.
We looked at the form and laugh. For our place of residency and employment were two words…
Homeless and Unemployed.
Yep…Mark can never accuse me of marrying him for his money!
I recently read the book Angry Conversations With God by Susan Isaacs. It’s a memoir of her journey to find faith, love and success as an actress. Dissatisfied in how it all had turned out, she takes God to marital counseling. It’s creatively written and an easy read.
One thing she mentioned in her counseling sessions really struck home with me. She came to the realization that she had married God for his money. The stuff. The “goods” that He promises to bless us with.
Wow…that made me uneasy.
I struggled with this for a while. Did I do the same? Have I married God for his money?
I mean, we read in the Bible how He wants to bless us, provide our every need, give us the abundant life, etc. The Bible even tells us that everything we’ve been given is for our enjoyment (I Tim. 6:17). So is it wrong to want it?
What's the difference between marrying God for His money vs. desiring His blessings?
As I wrestled with this I paid more attention to my prayers. I noticed they were loaded with requests for the goods and God's anointings.
At least they weren’t all just for me, or my family, but I did find my time with God was mainly filled with me asking Him for help and stuff. I wasn’t there to just be with Him, love Him, and get to know Him.
Don’t get me wrong; I feel God wants us to ask. We have not because we ask not, right? I believe God enjoys giving to us the same way I enjoy giving to my children.
However, the times our kids want to just be with me are priceless. When they want to sit on the couch next to me and talk or just be in the room with me as I work – solely because they want my presence to be nearby. These are times I truly treasure.
Does anyone resonate with this?
How do we balance the asking of God with just being with Him and getting to know Him?
Is it even wrong to want to be with God for what He can do for us, through us, with us?
Any thoughts or suggestions?
Comments
Firstly, I too enjoy the peace that I have when I just sit and spend time with Him. There really is nothing greater than knowing that no matter what happens, the Lord will sustain me. But, I know that I will enjoy the blessings that He can provide me.
Nicely written.