Russell Media - Laurie

Do your fears ever overtake you - paralyzing you, either momentarily or long-term, to the point where you sit out on life?

Fear is a strong force that God may use to protect and guide us but it’s also a tool the enemy will use to keep us in stalemate preventing us from experiencing and trusting God.

A few weeks ago our daughter had her end-of-the-season soccer party at a new gym in our area. It’s in an old warehouse and high above our party was the ropes course with six platforms and in-between each iss a variety of ropes and obstacles.

It looked awesome and the girls immediately asked about it. The manager offered us a deal if each child had an adult to accompany them. We couldn’t pass it up so we did the mini-training, strapped in and waited our turn to climb the rope ladder.

I was with my son, Noah, who quickly climbed the ladder as I belayed him. He made it look easy and I was eager to join him at top. However, as I began my climb the narrow ladder, it began to twist and sway. I quickly realized it was going to be trickier than it appeared.

I felt uncoordinated as I climbed. When it came time for me to reach from the ladder and step onto the platform, a fear of heights took over me that I had never experienced before. I stood on the platform, grasping the pole and afraid to move. I wanted to go down - immediately.

I didn’t want to let Noah down so I tried to gather my nerves. He waited for me to clip him in to his first course while I mentally tried to think of a way to get out of it and without disappointing him. Maybe he’ll hate and “need” me to go down with him.

No such luck – he loved it.

It was my turn to lean out, grab the rope and step off the firm platform onto a swinging rope. It was unnerving and I hated it at first but I didn’t fall and even ended the day with an adrenaline high.

Here are a few life lessons it taught me.

1. Straight paths are not always easy. In Proverbs 3 we’re encouraged to trust in God and not our own understanding. But just because God directs us to a path, it doesn’t mean it’ll necessarily be easy. My fears (understanding) told me to quit. However, if I had listened, I would have missed out on a great bonding time with my son. It was worth the struggle.
2. Taking the 1st step is not always the hardest part. For me, taking the 2nd and 3rd steps was harder. Each one took me further from the platform and my safety blanket. It was even scarier at the end when I had to take one hand off of the rope to climb onto the next platform. It required me letting go and reaching out to another for help. Every step of our path we are dependent upon God and others – and this is a good thing.
3. “Healthy” pride won’t lead to a fall. It keeps us from sitting out on life. I was with my son and his ability to continue on the ropes course was dependent on me staying with him. I didn’t want him to see me as a mom who quits on him. So I struggled on. My pride didn’t want to disappoint him so it spurred me on.

There have been times in life where fear kept me from trying. I didn’t send a query letter because I feared the rejection. I didn’t talk to a person because I feared looking foolish. I didn’t apply for a position because I feared I wouldn’t be able to handle the position.

God broke through that day. He reminded me that He enables us and He clears the right path for us. It may not be smooth sailing the whole way but the bonding and joy He gives us are more than worth it.

Do you have fears that prevent you from stepping out?

What has God taught you as you tackled your fears?

Do your fears ever overtake you - paralyzing you, either momentarily or long-term, to the point where you sit out on life?

Fear is a strong force that God may use to protect and guide us but it’s also a tool the enemy will use to keep us in stalemate preventing us from experiencing and trusting God.

A few weeks ago our daughter had her end-of-the-season soccer party at a new gym in our area. It’s in an old warehouse and high above our party was the ropes course with six platforms and in-between each iss a variety of ropes and obstacles.

It looked awesome and the girls immediately asked about it. The manager offered us a deal if each child had an adult to accompany them. We couldn’t pass it up so we did the mini-training, strapped in and waited our turn to climb the rope ladder.

I was with my son, Noah, who quickly climbed the ladder as I belayed him. He made it look easy and I was eager to join him at top. However, as I began my climb the narrow ladder, it began to twist and sway. I quickly realized it was going to be trickier than it appeared.

I felt uncoordinated as I climbed. When it came time for me to reach from the ladder and step onto the platform, a fear of heights took over me that I had never experienced before. I stood on the platform, grasping the pole and afraid to move. I wanted to go down - immediately.

I didn’t want to let Noah down so I tried to gather my nerves. He waited for me to clip him in to his first course while I mentally tried to think of a way to get out of it and without disappointing him. Maybe he’ll hate and “need” me to go down with him.

No such luck – he loved it.

It was my turn to lean out, grab the rope and step off the firm platform onto a swinging rope. It was unnerving and I hated it at first but I didn’t fall and even ended the day with an adrenaline high.

Here are a few life lessons it taught me.

1. Straight paths are not always easy. In Proverbs 3 we’re encouraged to trust in God and not our own understanding. But just because God directs us to a path, it doesn’t mean it’ll necessarily be easy. My fears (understanding) told me to quit. However, if I had listened, I would have missed out on a great bonding time with my son. It was worth the struggle.
2. Taking the 1st step is not always the hardest part. For me, taking the 2nd and 3rd steps was harder. Each one took me further from the platform and my safety blanket. It was even scarier at the end when I had to take one hand off of the rope to climb onto the next platform. It required me letting go and reaching out to another for help. Every step of our path we are dependent upon God and others – and this is a good thing.
3. “Healthy” pride won’t lead to a fall. It keeps us from sitting out on life. I was with my son and his ability to continue on the ropes course was dependent on me staying with him. I didn’t want him to see me as a mom who quits on him. So I struggled on. My pride didn’t want to disappoint him so it spurred me on.

There have been times in life where fear kept me from trying. I didn’t send a query letter because I feared the rejection. I didn’t talk to a person because I feared looking foolish. I didn’t apply for a position because I feared I wouldn’t be able to handle the position.

God broke through that day. He reminded me that He enables us and He clears the right path for us. It may not be smooth sailing the whole way but the bonding and joy He gives us are more than worth it.

Do you have fears that prevent you from stepping out?

What has God taught you as you tackled your fears?

Is it just me or does the world seem to be falling apart. Wars all around us, natural disasters altering lives in the matter of minutes and the economy, etc. Do you ever find yourself wondering why is God not intervening?

Easter Saturday I walked with our daughter, Anastasia, to her soccer game. We talked about it being the day before Easter and wondered what the disciples felt that day. Were they scared? Did they feel as if Jesus had lied? Were they mourning the loss of Jesus and the hope they held in Him?

I’m sure they felt as if their life was imploding. Political unrest, Jesus was gone, their new “careers” as disciples seemed to be over and feared for their lives. They scattered, one denied, another betrayed. Stability had vanished.

Little did they know that God had a miracle waiting for them around the corner that would restore their peace and fill them with confidence and strength.

I know what I believe about God but sometimes it’s hard to believe what I believe about Him – especially when life around me seems to be spinning out of control. I often find myself crying out to God the same as Jairus, “I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.”

Three things I’ve found have helped me find God in these times of struggle:

1)   Serve – The women rose early that Easter morning to serve Jesus. They were going to care for His body. God honored their servant hearts by revealing Himself to them. Often when I serve God, in spite of my circumstances, He shows Himself to me.

2)   Express doubts – While in jail, John the Baptist questioned if Jesus was the true Messiah. He was about to be beheaded - why Jesus was not saving him? Jesus wasn’t offended – in fact He gave John the proof he needed and then praised John to the crowd as the greatest man to be born of woman. God is not threatened when I share my doubts with Him. He guides me to truth and peace through His word and others.

3)   Praise – Psalm 22:3 tells us that God inhabits the praises of his people. When we praise Him, His presence draws near. When He’s near, peace reigns, even if chaos surrounds us. When I praise Him through music or words, my focus turns to Him and off the turmoil I face.

Life may seem as if it’s out of control but God has not left us. He’s a God who likes to give good surprises. But as we wait here is a verse to ponder…

“Let the Lord lead you and trust him to help. Then it will be as clear as the noonday sun that you were right.” Ps. 37:5 (CEV)

Believe what you know to be true of God and as you wait for Him to help you in your circumstance serve Him, talk with Him and praise Him.

What helps you find God when your life feels out of control?

When He seems distant, how do you draw near to Him?

Last week was our kids’ Spring Break so, Mark and I took the week off and we all headed to Disneyland. Now to some this may sound more like torture than a vacation – especially when you consider that we drove there from Boise, ID (Yep…15 hours in the car each way!) But it was a great time.

I love Disney – it is the land of adventure but it’s also the land of meltdowns for both parent and child. Thousands of people corralled through a handful of entry points who then walk miles, only to wait in line for hours (in all kinds of weather), for a 30 second ride.

Expectations are high. Kids are over excited. All it takes is one little kink for one’s patience to implode and we’re over reacting and saying things we don’t really mean.

Talk about highs and lows of emotions.

Space Mountain was our kids’ favorite roller coaster and we rode it numerous times. On one occasion we were loaded up in our seats, ready to go when one of the workers casually stepped in front of our train and pulled us to another track and behind a curtain.

Initially we were all making jokes with other passengers but internally I was irritated. The ride before Mark and Noah had been stuck on another roller coaster for 40 minutes. It seemed like we were spending a lot of our time dealing with broken machinery.

Moments later another car pulled up next to us. It was a family of 4. In the front seat were the son and his mother. She was gray and unconscious. It was scary and emotional. Praise God she was okay but for a moment we were unsure.

Later that day Mark and I talked about how impressed we were with the Disney staff and the way they handled the situation. There was potential for panic to arise in a small area filled with hundreds of people. The staff remained calm and only a handful of people were aware of the medical emergency that took place.

The Disney employees knew what to do and immediately worked as a team to help this family in need. They were young and handling a situation most twenty-year-olds never face. They obviously had been trained well by Disney in what to do in this circumstance.

There are times when my daily life is interrupted and my reaction is not the best. I dramatize it only to regret it later. Many times this is due to my spirit not being properly trained or prepared for the day. When I neglect the time and focus needed to condition my heart to handle the trials of life, my response is often not glorifying to God.

But, when my heart is prepared with prayer and time communing with God, I have a peace that transcends all understanding. In the midst of chaos, there is an unexplainable calmness enabling me to meet the need at hand.

How do you find peace in the midst of the stress of life?

Do you have any stories of see God’s peace in the midst of trial?

This past weekend I was a breakout speaker at the PURE Conference in Austin, Texas. It’s a women’s conference that removes women from the distractions at home and pamper them with rest and spiritual teaching. Even as one of the breakout leaders, it was fun for me to get away and learn from the other breakout and main sessions – and of course I enjoyed the wonderful 75-degree weather.

Lysa TerKeurst of Proverb 31 Ministries was the keynote speaker for the weekend. Her talks were filled with stories and wisdom on living out your faith in daily life. I want to share some of the spiritual tidbits she shared. They are great reminders and things we often overlook and forget.

1.)  Life is not meant to be “gotten through” – Many times my morning prayers consist of, “God, help me get through this task.” I may not look forward to cleaning my house but I’m blessed that I have a place to live. Embrace each moment for what it is.

2.)  You don’t always have to complete the whole project in a day – There are days I wake up and I’m overwhelmed with a task at work. Not all assignments have to be completed in a day. Each morning begin the day with, Lord, what is the assignment(s) You have for me to complete today?

3.)  Ministry is hard because you are working with hurt people and hurt people hurt people – This one speaks for itself. However, it helps me remember not to take things too personally when I consciously think of it this way.

4.)  Delegate – I feel burned out because I hoard my “to do” list. Here are three questions Lysa asks herself…                        

a)    What are the things only I can do?

b)   What can I delegate under my supervision?

c)    What can I hire others to do?

I found those three questions to be very practical.

5.) Thanksgiving moves the heart of God and allows us to see the hand of God – Praising God in all of our circumstances removes the false filters that we may have over our eyes and allows us to see God more clearly.  

I hope these tips are a blessing to you as they have been to me.

What lessons/advice have you learned lately from the teachings of others?               

Our house was a bit crazy the past couple of weeks. Actually, stressful is a better word to describe it. Everyone was in an eternal irritable state – even the dogs. The kids were fighting, Mark and I were barking and the dogs – well they seemed irked over the lack of a walk and went in the backyard and chewed up part of the playset! (Oh yeah, mama wasn’t happy!)

I made numerous attempts to end it – I put the kids to bed earlier, slipped the dogs some extra treats and made heartier meals to keep Mark from being hungry – but the irritation continued. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Why were we all lacking peace?

One day, my 8-year-old daughter and I were in the car when she snapped at me about something I did that bothered her (I think yawned – it was pretty annoying.) I was seconds from reverting to my elementary days and saying something sarcastically about her mother (when I realized I’d be talking about myself!) when God whispered something to me, Talk to her about the way she’s feeling.

Hmm…hadn’t thought of doing that! We talked about it briefly but didn’t reach a conclusion. Then out of the blue she asked me, “Can we go on a date together soon?” Ahhh…that was it – it had been a while since we had spent any one-on-one time together.

The next night she and I went out to dinner and had a wonderful time. We sat on the same side of the booth and she cuddled into me like a little girl. We played the games on the children’s menu and talked about school. It was a simple night but I had my sweet girl back. Yesterday Mark took Noah night skiing and I took the dogs for a long walk. This morning, life felt good again. It was peaceful.

As I sat thinking about it this morning, I realized it is the same with God. When I neglect having one-on-one time with him – the peace in my heart flees. Having time to quiet my heart, focus and be with God not only fills me with peace – it energizes me and enables me to handle better the stress of the day. It is in these moments that his Spirit guides and restores me. It allows me love on Him and Him on me. It is then I find the peace that transform all understanding.

What do you do when you feel a lack of peace with God?

I’ve been helping a friend with a writing project and the other day I was going through some of his notes. I came across a cool quote he had jotted down from Richard Rohr’s book Everything Belongs and it has been running through my mind. The quote goes…

“We ask God many questions – and He does answer – but we often do not understand His answers.  We try to change our events in order to avoid changing ourselves.”

There is a lot of truth in this statement. My prayers are often filled with requests for God to deliver me from this, provide me with that or to remove a certain stressor from my life. The type of answers I’m seeking are ones that bring change in my circumstances and will return peace and comfort to my life.

Now there’s nothing wrong with peace, we’re to pray and strive for it and it’s human nature to long for comfort. However comfort is basically a breeding ground for complacency. When I’m complacent my peripheral vision is lessened and I’m unaware of the danger that is lurking around me.

At times when I question God it appears He is ignoring me – at least this is how I perceive it. But Rohr’s quote reminded me that God’s main concern is not providing us with comfort and ease or removing from our lives that which disturbs us. Rather it’s molding us into His likeness. Changing within me that which is unlike Him.

It’s Christmas time and we have two incredible kids. I know I’m biased but they really are pretty awesome. There’s a part of me who wants to give them a huge Christmas. This may not sound like a bad thing – I’m doing it with a pure heart. But am I doing it with a wise heart?

Like many out there we are a bit tight this year. There have been times when I prayed for God to help me sell this article or for us to get this project in order to make some extra money. Sometimes it happened, sometimes it didn’t but when it didn’t, it felt as if God was not hearing my prayer.

Rohr’s quote revealed to me the fallacy in my thinking. It’s not that God has ignored my request but perhaps He’s working on a change in me – a change in my thinking or refining a virtue I’ve allowed to go dull.

I have a tendency to spend at Christmas time because it’s fun and feels good to shower my loves ones with gifts. However, as I recently prayed through this I realized part of my Christmas spending goes back to my childhood.

When I was young, I’d always have post-Christmas anxiety. Each Christmas afternoon a friend of mine would call me to compare the number and quality of gifts we had received. I knew my parents gave me all that they could and it was wonderful until my friend called. I’d then be plagued with the insecurity of not be “rich enough” and the jealousy of wanting what she had. It sure put a damper on the joy Christmas.

Internally there is a part of me that wants my kids to avoid this same pain. I don’t want them to feel they are not as good because their parents don’t make as much as their friends parents. Perhaps God has a purpose in this beyond my understanding. Looking back I now see the insecurity my friend caused actually bonded me to my parents. It didn’t take long for me to see the number of gifts around me and the one or two gifts around them. They sacrificed their right to receive on Christmas in order to give more to us. It gave me a sense of being loved versus pacified.

We weren’t placed on this earth to be comfortable but to learn to love God, to love others and even ourselves. I don’t know about you but learning and growing can be painful (Chemistry anyone???!!!) The same way a child’s body feels pain during growth spurts, growth in our hearts may require us to experience pain and discomfort. When we avoid the pain we miss the growth.

So as the holidays approach, the craziness begins and you find yourself shouting out a bunch of emergency prayers to God and there appears to be a delay in the answer, look a little closer. God may have sent His answer but it lies in your willingness to allow change to begin within you.

Do you find your prayers are for change in circumstances?

Does Rohr’s quote resonate with you?

I heard a great sermon recently. My sister’s family lives in Atlanta and we all traveled there this year for Thanksgiving. They have been attending a fairly new church called Passion City Church. It’s pretty amazing. Louie Giglio teaches and Chris Tomlin leads the music. Talk about powerful praise and worship. I didn’t want it to end.

Louie’s sermon was titled Fully Alive and it really did a job on my soul. One point really stuck with me and I find myself continually talking about it with others. Louie highlighted Paul’s letter to the Philippians and focused on chapter 1 where Paul shares his struggle to die or not to die. If he were to die he’d instantly be in the arms of Jesus but to remain on earth he’d be able to continue sharing the love of Christ.

I’d always viewed this passage as encouragement for us to be content in all circumstances. Good and profit can be found anywhere. But Louie put a new twist on it for me. The goal of the people in the early church was not to live a long life; they worked to live a powerful life – one that served Christ and made his name known no matter the cost. If that meant a shortened life – so be it. It only meant that they’d be united with Christ sooner.

I was struck by the thought that so much of my time is wasted. I spend countless hours working hard to live long and look good as I’m doing it. I try to prevent my body from aging but allow my soul to wither. I then look in the mirror with discontentment. Paul did talk about a “thorn in his flesh” but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a need for a facelift or liposuction. He knew his days were limited and he was single-minded in spreading Jesus’ message to love God and to love others.

This passage revealed to me how egocentric I’ve become, especially when compared to the “other-centric” views of the early church. I’m consumed with the quality and quantity of my life. I work hard to obtain this so we can enjoy that. On the other hand, the early church worked hard to share this so other people can receive that, meaning eternal life with Christ. I desire a long, prosperous life but the early church longed for eternal life.

I do think there is value and great need in taking care of our self. If we have poor health, we’re limited in what we can do and where we can go to serve God. Plus, it’s often when I’m outdoors or on a run when I hear God clearest.

The take-home God gave me that day was not to work out less. But He did challenge me in how I use my time. The early church faced death daily. They lived in a time of occupation that purged those who challenged the system. But in spite of it they changed the world.

I’m blessed to live in a free country, in a time when medicine has enabled us to live longer and engineers have made it possible to travel the world in hours. I’ve been given the gift of time, freedom and ease of travel (except when traveling through Salt Lake City – we always seem to get stuck there). What am I doing with my days? Am I using my minutes to truly loving God and neighbor? Or am I wasting the extra time I’ve been given and consuming God’s love and hoarding it for myself?

I’ve never been one to make New Year’s resolutions but this year I think that I will. I want to begin truly living my life fully alive. I want to live like the early church as if I may face death at any moment. I want to use what God has given our generation to help change the world. If enough of us do it together – imagine what God will do through us.

Are you living your life fully alive?

Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?

If not, will you join me and fully live the time God has given us and give His love to others?

"I don’t think I love God anymore.”

Did I just say that out loud?

My gaze searched the faces of the ladies in my Bible study. They were now silent and appeared to be waiting for me to finish my statement and to soften my words. But I was tired of faking it.

He had become a joyless obligation. I served out of duty and told others about him to fulfill a requirement. My language, lifestyle and dress were determined by a set of guidelines. My face wore an eternal smile by day but my heart was filled with apathy and nagged awake with doubts at night.

I had questions that I was afraid to ask and they were draining the lifeblood out of my soul. It wasn’t until one night as I prepared for the next days Bible study, God pushed me in a corner and asked me, “Do you love me? Do you truly love me?”

“I don’t know. I want to, I’m trying to but I don’t know what to do.”

Finally an older member in the group responded, “Of course you love God. You’re just a little burned out right now. It’ll get better.”

She was right, sort of. I was a full-time mother of young kids, in full time ministry. That’s hard work. However, I was doing everything I knew of to refuel and tap into God – Bible study, church, serving, praying – I even occasionally took real Sabbaths. Why wasn’t it working? Something else was missing. What had caused me to question my love for a God who had always been faithful?

Burnout is like a virus that sneaks up on you. It may instantly knock you out but there are usually symptoms working as red flags, warning us that we’re coming down with something. But…these flags may not be red, rather beige and not easily seen unless we know what to look for.

Part of me feels it’s trickier to see and prevent spiritual burnout. It’s not always easy to recognize and may be harder to reverse it. Who wants to say, “I feel a little burned out on God” or “I would like to serve in the nursery but it’s hurting my relationship with God.” Nope – it’s too hard to admit and embarrassing to say. But it’s true, it happens and it’s real.

God created us to work and be productive but not to run ourselves into the ground. He also formed us to love him and each other – authentically. A balance is needed, one that can be found in a transparent relationship with ourselves, others and God.

I guess in a sense you can say that I had a spiritual breakdown. It took me honestly going before God and honestly telling him the condition of my heart. It was then that God began revealing personal hindrances in my life that prevented me from experiencing a true love for him. I can still find myself bordering burnout - but by being honest with God and myself I now see the warning flags before they turn red.

Do you ever deal with spiritual burnout?

What are the warning signs God’s given you?

Any insight to help others?