Russell Media - Laurie

Have you ever run in a road race and the finish line is just up ahead? Doesn’t it seem like an eternity away?

Boise hosts a handful of road races for kids. Our kids love these events and make sure we sign them up every year. Their favorite is a 1-mile race held near the end of school. There are over 1,000 kids that participate in this spirited event.

Last year Mark and I placed ourselves a few hundred yards before the finish line. Usually the race runs one gender at a time and divides the kids into age groups – with the older kids going first in order to prevent overly ambitious14-year-olds from running over an absent-minded 6-year-old.

It was near the end of the boys run and Mark had taken off to find our son Noah who had already crossed the finish. I remained in our spot, awaiting the start of the girls. As I looked down the road I saw a little boy who had yet to finish. He was now walking. His face was red and his eyes were full of tears. He was coming in last place.

His father saw him and quickly ran out to the street to join him and finish the race with him. He encouraged his son; trying to get him to run again but the little boy wanted none of it. He squealed at his dad – he was embarrassed and didn’t want to run.

All the other parents on the sideline saw what was going on. As the boy approached us, the mom next to me began cheering, “Keep going! You’re about to finish 1 mile!”

The rest of us joined in with her and the cheering the began to spread down the line. The little boy looked to the crowd, realizing that we were all cheering for him. The defeated look on his face turned into determination and he sprinted to the finished and ended his race strong.

It’s amazing how our outlook can change when we have the encouragement of others. Our mountains become mole hills and what once seemed impossible becomes possible.

We are all going to have times when the finish line is like a mirage in the desert and want to give up. But – if we surround ourselves with  positive people who will sincerely cheer us on to finish the race that God has set before us – we’ll finished determined, not defeated.

There is a time to run and there is a time to cheer. It’s tempting to hog the spotlight but we need to be sure that we’re also spectators for others as they accomplish their goals. I’m not speaking of flattery but authentic words of encouragement.

The road can be rough and we’re not meant to go it alone.

Cheers my friends!

Has there been a time when the encouraging words of others helped you through a rough patch?

It’s the beginning of March and my kiddos are already preparing for one of their favorite days of the year…April Fools Day. Yep, they love it. It’s in their Top Five for favorite days – Christmas, Birthdays, Easter, Halloween and April 1^st.

It’s actually a great time of bonding between the kids and me. Mainly because the three of us pow wow for about two months talking about, “How are we going to get Daddy this year?!”

They learned about it at school and approached me on how it’s played out. Ah, blank slates. Time to have some fun with Mark!

The first year we tied down the “spray hose” on the kitchen sink and they then asked Mark for a glass of water. It was a splashing success (pun intended). The next year salt was placed into the sugar jar that caused Mark to dash to the sink to rinse his mouth (Unfortunately, we had overlooked the sink that year. It could have been a two for one!)

Last year we faked every parent’s nightmare…the stomach virus. I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say we use some condiments and cereal to make it more realistic.

Now you may be wondering why a 44-year-old woman is spending so much time torturing her husband by teaching her children pranks that will surely come back to haunt her some day. Well, um…I’m not sure and in the back of my mind I do fear that it’s only a matter of time until they turn on. But I do make a point that we keep is safe and not let it get out of hand. After that, the sky is the limit.

One reason we do it is because Mark is a hilarious victim. It takes him a little while to wake up each morning making him the perfect target of our mischief. But the main reason is he’s a bit dramatic in his reactions and this gives us a good laugh. He even laughs with us and is a great sport. We then spend the rest of the day reliving it together.

Laughter is therapeutic to my soul and it’s bonding for our family. Our best cuddle times often come after a good laugh. It helps to heal the body. It is a gift from God. Mark is a jewel because he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Our kid’s laughter is contagious because it’s heartfelt.

Life is hard. It’s stressful and often painful but God has given us laughter as a gift to help pick us up when life pulls us down. The Bible tells us “joy comes in the morning” and lucky for Mark tomorrow is not April 1^st!

What makes you laugh? How do you share laughter with your family and/or friends?

The other day I was looking through old picture books with my kids. My son’s favorite is one a preschool teacher gave him about Loggerhead sea turtles. It’s a sweet story that follows the life of a baby sea turtle into adulthood. They wanted to hear it again, so we cuddled on the couch and read it for “old times” sake. However, this time I noticed a piece of wisdom in the story that I’d missed before.

The mother Loggerhead builds a nest in the sand, lays her eggs and heads back out to sea. Weeks later, the baby turtles crack through their eggs. However, many hungry eyes are watching and waiting. The babies’ shells are soft and make them an easy meal. Many sea gulls and crabs hide in the wings waiting for them the turtles to make their journey toward the sea. So the babies wait until nighttime in hopes of using the dark to camouflage them.

It was the next part of the story that got me thinking. The babies have no parents to lead them into the water but God provided them with a landmark to guide them. The horizon and the moonlight on the sea show the babies the path to safety.

However, there is another danger the babies now face. Lights from the street and buildings along the beach confuse some. These artificial lights are brighter and distracting. They draw the attention of a number of the babies and they mistakenly head in the wrong direction, never making it to the sea.

This is a similar struggle we face. God has provided us each personal “landmarks” leading us to safety and a life full of adventure. But there are many distractions the world provides that steal our attention. Before we know it we’re heading in the wrong direction. The lights may be brighter and more alluring but they lead to an environment we were not created for.

My kids grew impatient with me as I pondered this thought. Actually, for a minute they wondered if mommy had fallen asleep with her eyes open as I stared into space. So I began sharing with them what this analogy to which my son asked, “How do you know if you’re following the right light?”

Man – why do they always ask me these hard questions when I’m not prepared? J

I blubbered around with my words for a minute. I don’t remember all that I said but I’m pretty sure it made little sense and was overly complicated. Then my daughter summarized it for us, “Don’t worry…God will let us know if we’re going the wrong way.”

Wow – so simple yet so true.

Her clear message redirected my thoughts. The key is communion with God. While on earth, Jesus prayed continually. He broke away from the group often seeking direction from the Father. It was important that he stay on the path his Father had prepared for him. There were many needs to be met and battles to be fought that could have diverted him from his purpose on earth. He knew he needed God to point out his divine landmarks.

I’ve felt very distracted this summer and as if I’m floundering. There are many “good” things out there yet I wondered if I’m in the process of merging off the path God has for me. It’s time to refocus on communing with God and open my eyes for the divine landmarks God’s giving me.

Are any of you feeling the same or dealing with the same struggles?

I work from home most days. It’s really nice, especially since the lack of a commute saves me time and money. One morning I knew I wasn’t going to see anyone else until late afternoon. The kids were at school, Mark was at the office so I decided to save even more time and go with the “natural” look. I skipped my daily routine of putting on make-up. In a hurry to take advantage of my extra time, I jumped right into work.

About an hour after I started, the doorbell rang. I peeked out the window and saw it was our delivery guy in search of a signature. When I opened the door he looked at me and seemed thrown off a bit, “Oh, you’re home. I sure hope I didn’t wake you.”

Hmmm…why did he say that? I didn’t delay in answering the door. It was almost 10:00 a.m. on a weekday. Why would he think I’d still be in bed?

As I returned to my desk, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I stopped. I knew. My face, which is normally covered with beauty products, was completely bare. My imperfections glared. My eyes seemed smaller, my nose looked bigger and my hair was definitely nappier. I looked more like a woman fresh out of bed rather than one fresh for the day.

The rest of the morning was spent with me obsessing over my lack of “natural” beauty.

I have a love/hate relationship with beauty. The old saying tells us that “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” but if this is true, why do I feel enslaved to it? Maybe it’s our present definition of it. Why do I feel the need for my body to be a certain size and my hair to not be a certain color? Why is it that I can I find beauty on the TV but not in the mirror? Something is wrong.

Perhaps part of the problem is our culture’s misconstrued definition of beauty. Dictionaries define beauty as something that that brings great pleasure to the senses or blesses the mind. I like this – it’s quite nice. According to this definition, beauty can be found basically anywhere. But if my skin is not a certain color or my jeans a particular size, I feel ugly.

I did an informal word search in a Bible program on the words “beauty” and “beautiful.” There I noticed two things. With the exception of the books of Esther and Song of Solomon, these two words were generally used to describe God or part of his creation and the other warned us of the dangers of depending on our own beauty or man-made beauty.

Again, this was an informal study but it appears that God knew that our obsession for beauty would take our eyes off of Him and what He has given us, and then place it on ourselves. We like beauty. We want it and will do what it takes to have it. In the process we lose sweet communion with God.

I personally don’t see harm in trying to improve my appearance but when it causes my focus to leave God and then fixate it on myself, I’m in insecure territory. I see all that I’m not. However, when my eyes are on God and all who He is, I see all that I am in Him. I see true beauty – one that blesses the mind and brings true pleasure. I’m filled with peace instead of anxiety. And to me, that sounds beautiful.

For now, I’ll continue to wear make-up most days but I’m won’t worry if others do a double take and wonder if I’ve been sick due to my small eyes. I may never see the natural color of my hair again. Come to think of it, I’m not sure if I actually remember it. Either way, when the gray makes its way through I’ll see it as a reminder that God has given me some great years and memories…and hopefully some wisdom learned along the way.

How about you? Does our culture’s definition of beauty haunt you? Any insight on how you deal with it? How are raising your children to deal with it?

Ah, it’s summer! I love it. The longer days allow for early morning runs and evening swims. It’s a time to recuperate from the battles of helping with homework to the numerous hours spent watching unlimited baseball and soccer games. Of course the extra free time means the kids have even more energy and the quest to figure out how to expend that vigor begins.

Many of our kids’ friends attend some of the day camps around town. The past few summers we traveled a good bit and weren’t home enough to make it feasible to go any, however, this summer we decided to stay local so I began researching the camps.

OMG! (Don’t worry. “G” stands for Gosh.) There are so many camps out there. I was overwhelmed. They all sounded incredible, so many choices. I was tempted to sign up for all of them and fill our summer going from camp to camp. But the reality of a budget knocked that pull out of me.

I finally decided on a camp that one of our friends cofounded and co-runs, SimBale Sports, LLC. It’s a sports camp that integrates physical techniques with tools for a positive mental attitude. They teach the kids how to set personal goals and back it with skills to meet them via various sports and activities. It sounded great in theory, so we signed up.

Okay, I have to pause here and make a confession. Another reason I signed our kids up for camp this summer is so I would have a few hours a day for one week to catch up. Our house is a wreck and I’m behind on many projects. The busy spring schedule put my A.D.D. in full drive and my long “to do” list is filled with half-finished jobs. I figured this would be my time to do it all and then the rest of summer would be peacefully organized.

Yeah, right.

Well, today was the last day of our camp and nothing has been crossed off of my list. Actually, since I am in confession mode I might as well add that I have yet to write out a physical list. It’s still only mentally in my head and tortures me each night as I try to sleep.

The kids came home from camp today with these journals. My friend and her partner coached the kids each day with quotes and tips, motivating them on how to fulfill their personal goals. They were eager to show them to me so we sat on the couch and went through each one. They were filled with some great insight that really helped me with my “to do” list problem.

One quote my daughter paraphrased in her journal…

            While most are dreaming of success, winners wake up and work hard to achieve.

This quote inspired me. I’m filled with dreams but they’re only going to happen if I proactively work and strive to make them happen, praying for wisdom and guidance along the way. Too many dreams are fading away as time passes.

So I decided to take a power nap. Yep, I know that’s probably not what you were thinking I might say but it’s amazing what a twenty-minute rest will do for my thinking. There is also a need for balance. Being still is not the same as doing nothing just as being busy is not equal to being productive. After the nap my mind was clear and my body was ready to work.

I was reminded that being a winner doesn’t mean you strive to be the best but rather giving and being your best. I want to know in the end that I lived this principle. I want to model this work ethic to my kids and for them to see me giving my best for them, my best to God and my best for others.

Too many times in my life I’ve been given incredible opportunities but my lack of focus and attention caused my good intentions to end up with me just getting by.

So, I’m glad we’re staying home this summer. I think I’ll sit still in the morning and make out a list and pray for God to help me prioritize it. At the end of the day, when the kids are in bed, I think I’ll start working on my book.

Do you have any suggestions or strategies to share on how to be productive?

I dread going to the grocery store. It seems each time I go I’m in a hurry, with a time limit hanging over my head.

One time a while back, my kids and I went to the smaller, more expensive store by our house. We only needed a few things, and like always, I was in a hurry. The kids hung on to sides of the cart as I darted down each aisle in a race against the clock. I was like a mini van with a turbo engine weaving around other customers. And then I was forced to slow down.

My cart faced the backside of a little ol’ grandma who had parked her cart in the middle of the lane. She looked at one shelf, took a few steps and then looked some more. She turned and saw us waiting. A smile spread across her face and she said hello to the kids and then went back to her shopping.

She seemed oblivious that we were waiting on her to move. So I did what I’d want someone else to do if it was my mother in that situation, I smiled, pretended to be on the wrong row, turned around and hurried off. However, we must have been shopping for the same items because she was everywhere I needed to be and her cart remained in the way. I was getting annoyed, really annoyed. Didn’t she remember it’s rarely fun to shop with young kids hanging on your cart?

We finished up and I shuttled the kiddos out to the car. As I loaded my groceries, out came the little ol’ grandma and a store employee. He loaded her groceries as she chatted away. I could tell he was trying to cut her off and get back to work. I feared I was next to be chatted up by her so I hurried with my groceries in hopes of pulling off before the store employee was able to get away.

Then I heard her say something that changed everything, “My husband died about a month ago. It’s so hard eating dinner by myself. I don’t know how to shop and cook for just one person.”

Ouch, ouch, OUCH!

It literally took my away breath. She wasn’t a self-absorbed shopper taking up the aisle…she was a new widow learning how to survive without her husband and to eat alone. I was the self-absorbed one. I felt like such a jerk.

I stalled as I finished loading my car, I felt the need to talk with her. She said good-bye to the grocery boy and turned to face me. I didn’t know what to say so I commented on the fancy doors of her truck. She began telling me the story of her husband and how he wanted her to have a safe car. She wanted to save money but now that she’s alone, she figured he was right.

We talked for fifteen minutes. I was late to our next appointment but truly humbled that day. God reminded me that the heart of His children is more important than the busyness of my life.

This happened years ago and I still don’t know what to do with it. There are so many lonely and hurting people around me but I fear I’m often too distracted by my “to do” list to see them, and sometimes even care. We live in the earth’s most populated age yet many of us feel isolated and suffer alone.

I know I need to slow down, say “no” more and “be” in the moments of life. I often fear I’m raising my kids to live a busy life. I want them to live, love and be not survive, overlook and hurry. This is the first Saturday we have  no soccer or baseball games and I'm literally thinking of ways we need to "fill" the day and be productive versus enjoying one another. Where's the balance?

So, do any of you out there ever feel the same? Do you have any insight on how to slow down without pulling out of life?

Thanks for listening and your thoughts are cherished!

Noah, our 9-year-old, was in a slump recently…a little league batting slump that is. He was hitting well the beginning of the season then in one game, three of his teammates hit homeruns…over the fence! It was awesome and homerun was a goal to obtain.

Noah came home that day talking about the homeruns and even prayed for one of his own. The next game I noticed anxiety in his body language. His fingers rolled, hips swayed and his nose wrinkled. He wanted a homerun and it showed in his swing. On each pitch he swung as if he were fighting off a charging mountain lion.

Swoosh... 

He managed to get on base most of the time but the quality of his hits had suffered. The slump continued for a few games and it began eating away at his confidence. I noticed a new nervousness in his stance during the games and a quietness in his persona afterwards.

Mark worked with him on his batting. One day he called Noah’s coach, Aaron, to see if the batting cages were open. He told Mark he was heading up there with his son and invited Mark and Noah to join him and he’d work with Noah too. When they got there, another teammate was there. He had some trouble with batting in the last game and Aaron called and invited him to join them.

Later that evening Mark came home he told me about it. We were both amazed with Aaron’s dedication to the boys on his team. He travels a good bit with work so he doesn’t have an abundance of free time. So sharing the free time he has with his son with other people’s kids is pretty huge.

Last night Anastasia had a Daisy meeting. So I dropped her off and Noah and I went across the street to practice batting. He was hitting like crazy. He was smiling and enjoying the time. His confidence had increased. I commented on the improvement to which he said, “Coach Aaron told me when to lift my foot and when to swing the bat. Now I know when to do it.”

You see, I never would have known to tell him this but that tidbit of knowledge is helping him improve in his hitting. For a 9-year-old who loves baseball, this knowledge is huge and helping him to feel whole. This is important to him in this time in his life and it’s spilling over into other areas.

There’s a passage in the Bible when children wanted to spend time with Jesus. Adults around him were shooing them away thinking Jesus was too important to spend his free time with kids. Jesus quickly admonished the adults and invited the children to join him. He knew He had something to offer that they needed…his time and his wisdom.

I adore my children and try to give them what they need to help them become their best. But there are some things in life I just don’t know (okay…a lot of things.) Coach Aaron didn’t brush off my kid and his teammate that day, he invited them in. He shared with them his time and knowledge.

Now I’m not saying we should all go teach Sunday school or coach our kid’s team. Do only what God has asked of you. However, my point is whenever you are with children, don’t consider it wasted. You’re making an impact on their lives and helping them grow into the man or woman they are to become.

Coach Aaron gave to Noah that day and last night I saw how he had grown because of it. So to the coach Aarons of the world, I thank you. You are a blessing to our children and to us. Thank you for challenging me to do the same.

Do you have a “Coach Aaron” in your life?

Any ideas on ways we can become one ourself?