Russell Media - Laurie

God's amazing in the way He daily teaches me. The other day I drove to the grocery store. As I pulled into the parking lot I noticed a man on the corner holding a sign asking for money. This particular corner is continually occupied by people asking for money and I’ve found myself no longer noticing those on it.

This day I was on my cell phone (don’t tell Oprah – I am trying hard to make my car a “no phone” zone but I'm not quite there yet.) When I drove by this gentleman, I made eye contact with him. My normal response is to quickly look away. However, on this day I felt a nudge to lock eyes, smile and nod my head acknowledging him. The thought crossed my mind If he’s still there when you leave…give him money.

I forgot about him as I shopped but when I got in my car to head home, he was still on the corner with his sign. Normally the traffic makes it awkward to stop but on this day, no one else was around.

My earlier pledge to give him money returned to me. I didn’t know if this was God’s spirit nudging me or just a random thought. I do know that I have a tendency to ignore this “voice” because it often puts me in uncomfortable situations or at times costs me something. I figured I better listen so I stopped, rolled down my window and handed the man some money.

He graciously accepted the money and “God-blessed” me. Then he said something that opened my eyes, “I saw you on your phone when you came in. You smiled at me. I wanted to tell you that you have a pretty smile.”

Wow – I was temporarily speechless. I regained my composure and told him he’d made my day. I drove off lost in thought. He recognized and remembered me.

So many times I drive by the individuals on the street asking for help and look straight through them. It’s not intentional, but that’s what I do. I figured they do the same with me. They see so many of us a day I assumed they look through us too.

However, it hit me…they see us not see them!

A snowball of thoughts ran through my head. What does it feel like to be invisible? When I’ve “looked through them” in the past, what did I do to their self-worth? Even worse, how does it make God feel? I’ve watched kids on the playground ignore my children as they tried to join in and it broke my heart.

Am I breaking God’s heart as I look through others on the street (think Brandon Heath’s song Give Me Your Eyes)?

I know this is a controversial topic, but is it okay to look at those on the street but not give? Is acknowledging them alone enough? How do you think Jesus wants us to reach out to those on the street who are at a low point in life?

I’m still mulling through this as this gentleman’s words ring fresh in my ears. What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear.

The other night my daughter came to me with tears. Week’s prior she had been at a friend’s house. While there, she was goofing off and did something that required the mom to correct her. She never told me about the incident but when she overheard me inviting these friends over, she panicked.

“I’m scared. I’m scared she (the mom) doesn’t like me and will tell others what I did and they won’t like me,” she cried. “I keep trying to forget about it but I can’t!”

Initially I had that dread of, “Oh great, what did my kid do this time?” But when she explained the incident to me it was actually quite harmless. Phew! However to a child it felt like she was carrying a boulder.

We talked about it and prayed about it but it she didn’t feel better. I told her to sleep on it and we’d see how she felt in the morning.

The next day she woke still worried about seeing her friend’s mom. I told her perhaps the reason she’s not feeling peace after praying about it is because there’s something else that God wants us to do.

"What about apologizing?"

“No, no! I don’t think I can apologize. I don’t want to do it. I want to forget about it but it’s so hard to! I can’t.”

It hit me then, forgiveness, peace and freedom from this burden she was carrying were right in front of her but she was unwilling to accept what was required to receive it.

I totally understand what she's feeling. It’s hard to go to someone and admit fault and ask for forgiveness. It’s uncomfortable, awkward. Plus, you don’t always know how the other person will respond.

However, I know my friend. There is no doubt in my mind she would lovingly forgive Anastasia and do everything in her power to assure her all is fine.

This whole situation has thrown me. Normally Anastasia has no problem apologizing to us, her family. She knows we love her and will forgive her. However, she doesn’t know my friend that well. To her, the outcome is unknown.

When I wrong someone, it’s easy for me to go to God and ask for forgiveness. He’s family. But also...I don’t have to look Him in the eye. And He’s promised to always forgive us.

However, apologizing to the person I’ve offended…that’s hard. Humans-we’re unpredictable. We’re not always guaranteed of a good outcome. But when we do give genuine apologies, there is a release, a freedom. We know that we’ve done everything in our power to make the situation right and to me it is worth it. Whether they accept our apology or not.

Why is it so hard to apologize to one another?

I’m still working with Anastasia. At the moment she’s still carrying around her burden needlessly. But, I’m at a loss on how to help her.

Any suggestions out there?

Do you think there’s a time to apologize and a time to just let things go?

When we lack peace, do you think it’s a sign that God is asking us to make the step in apologizing?

Let me know what you think!

I woke up this morning thinking about Good Friday and how ironic it is that we call it “good.” What’s so good about seeing an innocent person executed?

 Of course we call it “good” now because on that day Jesus paid the ultimate cost for us, allowing us direct communion with God the Father. We are no longer carry the burden, the heaviness of sin that is inside of us.

We are free of that debt – and debt is a word we hear about a great deal today. So many of us better understand the meaning of debt and the burden it give us.

Imagine if someone over night paid off all of your bills - your house, your car, the credit cards, student loans, and medical bills. What freedom that would be!

I often dream of being rich enough to anonymously pay off medical bills for the couple with a sick child or the house payment for a widow and her children or the mounting utility bills for the man who’s been laid off. To release someone from such a huge load while in the midst of a turbulent time would be almost therapeutic. A rush.

But what if it cost you something you loved?

What was God the Father experiencing that day?

Did He feel a huge sense of dread that Friday, knowing He was about to send his Son to be killed? That in Jesus’ greatest hour of need, He’d have to turn His back on Him because of our sin.

Or did He have a spiritual high of knowing many would soon be released of their outstanding debt of sin?

Did He feel both? Did He question if it was worth it? What made Him go through with it?

I couldn’t do it. Just another reason I’m not God. But I’m too selfish. The love I have for my children is a love like no other. I don’t think I have it in me to put them through hell in order for others, who’re undeserving, to stay out of it.

Thank God that God is different. :-)

He has the same love for each of us that He has for Jesus. Jesus chose to be the sacrificial lamb so we all would be together one day.

For this reason I call today VERY Good Friday.

Because of Jesus I will never be asked to pay this price – He’s already done it. Because of Jesus a way has been made for all to find God and Heaven. Because of Jesus my sins have been paid and I’m no longer bound by them. Because of Jesus, I love God the Father more because I’m able to see how much He loves me.

It’s a good day when to remember that we are free and we are loved. Thank you my Lord…today is a very good day and I’m eternally grateful.