Russell Media - Laurie

“Okay Laura, you live in Chile now. I will kiss you when you arrive and when you leave.”

Wow! I never expected to hear these words at a doctor’s appointment. What may have sounded like the beginnings of a lawsuit was actually my doctor sharing with me a part of his culture. We were living in Santiago, Chile and had just learned I was pregnant with our first child. We would be seeing a lot of this doctor and he was preparing his new American patient how he would be greeting me on each visit. Mark chuckled behind me as he watched me awkwardly kiss my doctor on the cheek.

I had read about this custom in books as we prepared for our move to Chile. Chileans greet each other with a kiss on the cheek and repeat it when they depart. Men would generally give each other a handshake or hug, depending on the relationship, but women always kissed everyone.

We were introduced to this custom immediately. We lived with a Chilean family our first two weeks. They were incredible and quickly became our adopted family. Each morning began with a kiss on the cheek and each “good bye” required another kiss.

It felt natural to do this with close friends and it quickly became second nature for me. However, the Chileans didn’t save this custom for just friends. In social settings they greeted everyone this way, friends and strangers alike.

One evening, we were hanging out with our Chilean family. Some of their friends dropped by unannounced. The room was crowded and we were sitting on the other side of the table. When our friends introduced us to the visitors they didn’t just nod at us and continue talking with our hosts. Nope – they moved furniture, squeezed behind people, worked their way over to us and greeted me with a kiss and Mark with a handshake and pat on the back.

I had never had anyone work so hard to meet me! It made me feel special, as if my presence mattered.

I thought, perhaps we received a special greeting because we were with their good friends. But this behavior continued – and not just with us. I watched teenagers do the same with each other as they greeted one another in the mall. Friends pushed through crowded buses to kiss and say hello to each other.

One time a friend passed me on the other side of the street. They quickly crossed through busy traffic in order to say hello and briefly catch up. I couldn’t believe the effort this person made in order to acknowledge my presence. It was nice.

Many times in life, I’ve been surrounded by people yet still felt alone – a conference or party where I didn’t know anyone else. It’s an uncomfortable feeling. People are deep into conversation and either don’t notice you or they’re too tired or uncomfortable themselves to make the effort and say “hello” to a stranger or even an acquaintance.

Paul mentioned numerous times to “greet one another with a holy kiss” (Rom. 16:16; 1 Cor. 16:20; 2 Cor. 13:12). I’ve always breezed past this verse. I don’t know why, maybe because it’s not part of our culture. But the verse is not about the kiss; it’s about the greeting. The Chileans modeled for me the importance of welcoming and the acknowledging one another. People have an innate desire to know they have been seen. From an early age, babies will work to make eye contact. This is how they first know love. It’s a horrible feeling to be ignored.

I’m shy by nature so this Chilean custom initially took me out of my comfort zone but it felt good when I was the recipient and therefore nudged me to give this back to others.

Now that I’m back in our own culture, there have been times where I allowed myself to hide in a crowd. Sometimes it’s just easier. But God created me to love and bless others and that takes effort. How can we love one another if we ignore one another? So go out, enjoy you day and greet one another with a holy kiss (or at least genuine greeting).

What are your thoughts on this?

Do you feel our culture is as skilled in greeting one another?

Have you experienced something similar in other cultures?