Russell Media - Laurie

Is it just me or does the world seem to be falling apart. Wars all around us, natural disasters altering lives in the matter of minutes and the economy, etc. Do you ever find yourself wondering why is God not intervening?

Easter Saturday I walked with our daughter, Anastasia, to her soccer game. We talked about it being the day before Easter and wondered what the disciples felt that day. Were they scared? Did they feel as if Jesus had lied? Were they mourning the loss of Jesus and the hope they held in Him?

I’m sure they felt as if their life was imploding. Political unrest, Jesus was gone, their new “careers” as disciples seemed to be over and feared for their lives. They scattered, one denied, another betrayed. Stability had vanished.

Little did they know that God had a miracle waiting for them around the corner that would restore their peace and fill them with confidence and strength.

I know what I believe about God but sometimes it’s hard to believe what I believe about Him – especially when life around me seems to be spinning out of control. I often find myself crying out to God the same as Jairus, “I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.”

Three things I’ve found have helped me find God in these times of struggle:

1)   Serve – The women rose early that Easter morning to serve Jesus. They were going to care for His body. God honored their servant hearts by revealing Himself to them. Often when I serve God, in spite of my circumstances, He shows Himself to me.

2)   Express doubts – While in jail, John the Baptist questioned if Jesus was the true Messiah. He was about to be beheaded - why Jesus was not saving him? Jesus wasn’t offended – in fact He gave John the proof he needed and then praised John to the crowd as the greatest man to be born of woman. God is not threatened when I share my doubts with Him. He guides me to truth and peace through His word and others.

3)   Praise – Psalm 22:3 tells us that God inhabits the praises of his people. When we praise Him, His presence draws near. When He’s near, peace reigns, even if chaos surrounds us. When I praise Him through music or words, my focus turns to Him and off the turmoil I face.

Life may seem as if it’s out of control but God has not left us. He’s a God who likes to give good surprises. But as we wait here is a verse to ponder…

“Let the Lord lead you and trust him to help. Then it will be as clear as the noonday sun that you were right.” Ps. 37:5 (CEV)

Believe what you know to be true of God and as you wait for Him to help you in your circumstance serve Him, talk with Him and praise Him.

What helps you find God when your life feels out of control?

When He seems distant, how do you draw near to Him?

The other day I was looking through old picture books with my kids. My son’s favorite is one a preschool teacher gave him about Loggerhead sea turtles. It’s a sweet story that follows the life of a baby sea turtle into adulthood. They wanted to hear it again, so we cuddled on the couch and read it for “old times” sake. However, this time I noticed a piece of wisdom in the story that I’d missed before.

The mother Loggerhead builds a nest in the sand, lays her eggs and heads back out to sea. Weeks later, the baby turtles crack through their eggs. However, many hungry eyes are watching and waiting. The babies’ shells are soft and make them an easy meal. Many sea gulls and crabs hide in the wings waiting for them the turtles to make their journey toward the sea. So the babies wait until nighttime in hopes of using the dark to camouflage them.

It was the next part of the story that got me thinking. The babies have no parents to lead them into the water but God provided them with a landmark to guide them. The horizon and the moonlight on the sea show the babies the path to safety.

However, there is another danger the babies now face. Lights from the street and buildings along the beach confuse some. These artificial lights are brighter and distracting. They draw the attention of a number of the babies and they mistakenly head in the wrong direction, never making it to the sea.

This is a similar struggle we face. God has provided us each personal “landmarks” leading us to safety and a life full of adventure. But there are many distractions the world provides that steal our attention. Before we know it we’re heading in the wrong direction. The lights may be brighter and more alluring but they lead to an environment we were not created for.

My kids grew impatient with me as I pondered this thought. Actually, for a minute they wondered if mommy had fallen asleep with her eyes open as I stared into space. So I began sharing with them what this analogy to which my son asked, “How do you know if you’re following the right light?”

Man – why do they always ask me these hard questions when I’m not prepared? J

I blubbered around with my words for a minute. I don’t remember all that I said but I’m pretty sure it made little sense and was overly complicated. Then my daughter summarized it for us, “Don’t worry…God will let us know if we’re going the wrong way.”

Wow – so simple yet so true.

Her clear message redirected my thoughts. The key is communion with God. While on earth, Jesus prayed continually. He broke away from the group often seeking direction from the Father. It was important that he stay on the path his Father had prepared for him. There were many needs to be met and battles to be fought that could have diverted him from his purpose on earth. He knew he needed God to point out his divine landmarks.

I’ve felt very distracted this summer and as if I’m floundering. There are many “good” things out there yet I wondered if I’m in the process of merging off the path God has for me. It’s time to refocus on communing with God and open my eyes for the divine landmarks God’s giving me.

Are any of you feeling the same or dealing with the same struggles?

I work from home most days. It’s really nice, especially since the lack of a commute saves me time and money. One morning I knew I wasn’t going to see anyone else until late afternoon. The kids were at school, Mark was at the office so I decided to save even more time and go with the “natural” look. I skipped my daily routine of putting on make-up. In a hurry to take advantage of my extra time, I jumped right into work.

About an hour after I started, the doorbell rang. I peeked out the window and saw it was our delivery guy in search of a signature. When I opened the door he looked at me and seemed thrown off a bit, “Oh, you’re home. I sure hope I didn’t wake you.”

Hmmm…why did he say that? I didn’t delay in answering the door. It was almost 10:00 a.m. on a weekday. Why would he think I’d still be in bed?

As I returned to my desk, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I stopped. I knew. My face, which is normally covered with beauty products, was completely bare. My imperfections glared. My eyes seemed smaller, my nose looked bigger and my hair was definitely nappier. I looked more like a woman fresh out of bed rather than one fresh for the day.

The rest of the morning was spent with me obsessing over my lack of “natural” beauty.

I have a love/hate relationship with beauty. The old saying tells us that “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” but if this is true, why do I feel enslaved to it? Maybe it’s our present definition of it. Why do I feel the need for my body to be a certain size and my hair to not be a certain color? Why is it that I can I find beauty on the TV but not in the mirror? Something is wrong.

Perhaps part of the problem is our culture’s misconstrued definition of beauty. Dictionaries define beauty as something that that brings great pleasure to the senses or blesses the mind. I like this – it’s quite nice. According to this definition, beauty can be found basically anywhere. But if my skin is not a certain color or my jeans a particular size, I feel ugly.

I did an informal word search in a Bible program on the words “beauty” and “beautiful.” There I noticed two things. With the exception of the books of Esther and Song of Solomon, these two words were generally used to describe God or part of his creation and the other warned us of the dangers of depending on our own beauty or man-made beauty.

Again, this was an informal study but it appears that God knew that our obsession for beauty would take our eyes off of Him and what He has given us, and then place it on ourselves. We like beauty. We want it and will do what it takes to have it. In the process we lose sweet communion with God.

I personally don’t see harm in trying to improve my appearance but when it causes my focus to leave God and then fixate it on myself, I’m in insecure territory. I see all that I’m not. However, when my eyes are on God and all who He is, I see all that I am in Him. I see true beauty – one that blesses the mind and brings true pleasure. I’m filled with peace instead of anxiety. And to me, that sounds beautiful.

For now, I’ll continue to wear make-up most days but I’m won’t worry if others do a double take and wonder if I’ve been sick due to my small eyes. I may never see the natural color of my hair again. Come to think of it, I’m not sure if I actually remember it. Either way, when the gray makes its way through I’ll see it as a reminder that God has given me some great years and memories…and hopefully some wisdom learned along the way.

How about you? Does our culture’s definition of beauty haunt you? Any insight on how you deal with it? How are raising your children to deal with it?

I dread going to the grocery store. It seems each time I go I’m in a hurry, with a time limit hanging over my head.

One time a while back, my kids and I went to the smaller, more expensive store by our house. We only needed a few things, and like always, I was in a hurry. The kids hung on to sides of the cart as I darted down each aisle in a race against the clock. I was like a mini van with a turbo engine weaving around other customers. And then I was forced to slow down.

My cart faced the backside of a little ol’ grandma who had parked her cart in the middle of the lane. She looked at one shelf, took a few steps and then looked some more. She turned and saw us waiting. A smile spread across her face and she said hello to the kids and then went back to her shopping.

She seemed oblivious that we were waiting on her to move. So I did what I’d want someone else to do if it was my mother in that situation, I smiled, pretended to be on the wrong row, turned around and hurried off. However, we must have been shopping for the same items because she was everywhere I needed to be and her cart remained in the way. I was getting annoyed, really annoyed. Didn’t she remember it’s rarely fun to shop with young kids hanging on your cart?

We finished up and I shuttled the kiddos out to the car. As I loaded my groceries, out came the little ol’ grandma and a store employee. He loaded her groceries as she chatted away. I could tell he was trying to cut her off and get back to work. I feared I was next to be chatted up by her so I hurried with my groceries in hopes of pulling off before the store employee was able to get away.

Then I heard her say something that changed everything, “My husband died about a month ago. It’s so hard eating dinner by myself. I don’t know how to shop and cook for just one person.”

Ouch, ouch, OUCH!

It literally took my away breath. She wasn’t a self-absorbed shopper taking up the aisle…she was a new widow learning how to survive without her husband and to eat alone. I was the self-absorbed one. I felt like such a jerk.

I stalled as I finished loading my car, I felt the need to talk with her. She said good-bye to the grocery boy and turned to face me. I didn’t know what to say so I commented on the fancy doors of her truck. She began telling me the story of her husband and how he wanted her to have a safe car. She wanted to save money but now that she’s alone, she figured he was right.

We talked for fifteen minutes. I was late to our next appointment but truly humbled that day. God reminded me that the heart of His children is more important than the busyness of my life.

This happened years ago and I still don’t know what to do with it. There are so many lonely and hurting people around me but I fear I’m often too distracted by my “to do” list to see them, and sometimes even care. We live in the earth’s most populated age yet many of us feel isolated and suffer alone.

I know I need to slow down, say “no” more and “be” in the moments of life. I often fear I’m raising my kids to live a busy life. I want them to live, love and be not survive, overlook and hurry. This is the first Saturday we have  no soccer or baseball games and I'm literally thinking of ways we need to "fill" the day and be productive versus enjoying one another. Where's the balance?

So, do any of you out there ever feel the same? Do you have any insight on how to slow down without pulling out of life?

Thanks for listening and your thoughts are cherished!

The other day, Mark and I did our first bike ride together of the season. We each had less than an hour available but felt the need for a quick workout. So we chose a location near our house.

Since our time was limited, I thought it would more of a chance to just do something together vs. getting a “real” workout. Boy I was wrong…the wind made sure of it.

The weather looked beautiful…perfect cycling weather. From our window it looked cool and calm, however, within the moments of hitting the road, I realized that “calm” wasn’t the best word to describe it.

The wind blew on and off as we left our neighborhood as if warning us of what lay ahead. We knew as we got closer to the river and moved towards the dam that it would only get worse.

We turned out of our neighborhood and onto a main road that led us down to the river. The wind slapped us in the face. In minutes it moved from blasting our fronts to pushing on our sides as we crossed the bridge. Gusts of wind made random attempts to blow us over. I’m still a newbie to road biking. I found if I coasted I felt more vulnerable but if I pedaled I was more secure.

We approached the entry to the Greenbelt, the paved path that runs along the Boise River. We were heading towards Lucky Peak Dam when the wind once more hit us head on. Mark and I rode next to each other, attempting to talk, but the wind’s whistling made it hard to hear each other. Periodically I had to move over behind him as another cyclists approached us from the other direction. It gave me moments of rest as I rode in Mark’s stream and his body blocked some of the wind from me.

When we reached the dam, I looked at my watch. It had taken a longer than normal. I mentioned this to Mark and he smiled, “Yes, but on the way home we’ll have the wind at our backs pushing us along.” It did and it was noticeably easier. We went from the wind’s resistance to its assistance.

Life is a lot like the wind. From a distance it may look like a gentle breeze but once you’re out in it, you realize the winds around you are strong. You don’t always know which direction it’s going to hit. It may be pushing you along and then in an instance it changes directions and threatens to knock you over.

It’s easier to ride with the wind is on our backs, helping to push us along. We save energy and go faster. However, easier is not always best, especially when we have a destination to reach. God has given us each our own goals to obtain. We may face resistance but it often makes us stronger and clarifies where we’re to go.

Here are some lessons I learned on my ride…

1. When we coast we may save energy but it can make us vulnerable to forces trying to knock us down. There are times to coast and rest but if you do it too long, you eventually stop.
2. Riding against the wind requires more energy but it makes us stronger (my legs are feeling it today!)
3. It’s wise to work as a team. Riding in your partner’s stream will give you periodic breaks from the full force of the wind. Just be sure to return the favor.
4. When the wind is on your back, utilize it and enjoy it. However, be prepared for sudden changes.
5. Take advantage of each opportunity to spend time with your spouse, friend, partner, etc. Enjoy it to its max and never take them for granted. You’ll learn a lot along the way.